Not Ready For No W.O.W.

Unfortunately I have realized that there is a long time between november 20 and january 9, I thought I was going to be just fine. I haven't gained any weight but its the same thing as saying "well i stayed in my 1200 calorie range....without a single fruit or vegetable." I never became dependent on W.O.W. and I know that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, which is why I am posting this at 5:50 am, but there were a few days that things just got to be too much for me to handle, and I was simply tracking my food because I didn't want to let andrea or kristan down. It sounds kind of pathetic but it is the kind of motivation that works for me, not for everyone of course, but I don't like letting people down or myself down. But right now, it is hard because I don't have anyone ready to chew my ass if I keep making the same mistakes, or the constant motivation.

Also, I feel very paranoid because as I have been getting new clothes that actually fit I freak out when my pants are tight, or a shirt is a little snug, and I have to make a very conscious effort to tell myself to shut up because these clothes are all my size now. Plus, during WOW andrea and I both were just wearing our clothes big because didnt and still aren't sure how small we are going to be. I bought my first pair of jeans in a size 16 (which is down from size 20 in august), and my first shirt that is a size large since well the beginning of time, I can't tell you when I have ever worn a large. So I feel like I went from wearing MC HAMMER pants (eww evidence of my age, if you don't know what I am talking about google "can't touch this" by M.C. Hammer) to skinny jeans.

Not sure why I felt strong enough about this to blog about, but now that the hype is over I have to keep looking ahead to my goals....and pull my head out of my !@#$%@ because I do know what carbs are so I need to knock off my excuses about them.

Burnout and Exhaustion

Believe it or not it isn't from working out, its from life in general. This last week and a half has really given me a run for my money. It is time for Christmas break because I am losing patience with my students, who's behaviors are absolutely not their fault because they are reinforced at home, however inappropriate for school they may be. I just don't have a lot of "fight" in me right now to nip these in the butt.

Finals at UNI are finally over...and I think I survived. I wrote a 21 page annotated bibliography, a 7 page book analysis, 150 pages of portfolio work, and an option project that was 14 pages about student-led IEP. My brain hurts, and I just have no ambition to do anything. I am about ready to put Ghandi in the VCR seriously and coast into break. I can't believe i even just said that.

Thankfully, my eating has been good so I haven't gained any weight, but I sure as hell haven't lost any either. I have been doing Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga, so it isn't that I haven't done anything...I think that it just feels like it. Also, I have to learn how to not beat myself up because I do have my priorities straight...and that was my graduate classes, but damn I feel like a slacker.

Ok I just had to share that.

In Remembrance...of Amy Jensen

I haven't had the strength to watch these until last night, but I really want to share them with people. Amy was a student at the last school that I taught at, I had her little brother who you will see in the video (that is huge now) in my very first class I taught.

Amy was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer during the spring of 2007, I became her tutor while she was going through chemo, both rounds. I would get her assignments from her teacher, and then spend time with her and teach her the material that she missed. That went on her entire junior year of high school, and she just went to school when she felt up to it to see her friends.

I am sure that Amy taught me more than I ever taught her, about the human spirit. She was the true definition of everything that is good in the world, and the strength of a true fighter. I was truly lucky to have known her. Please watch these.

http://www.keloland.com/videoarchive/index.cfm?VideoFile=112409eye

http://www.keloland.com/videoarchive/index.cfm?VideoFile=112509eye

This blog is all about our journey in health and fitness. These are about Amy's final gift to her family and friends. Why do we let ourselves live unhealthy lives...because we feel like it? because we can if we want to? I think about Amy a lot and the life that I get to live compared to hers that was cut so short. We can save ourselves, and she couldn't, but she gave it a hell of fight.

My favorite memory of Amy happened one day when I came over to work on her algebra and there was this really pretty little bouquet of flowers on the table and I said "Amy these are way pretty?" She replied, "well i let Snipper (her dog) out to go to the bathroom and his leash got snagged around my crutches, I fell down the stairs into the flower bush....and I figured while I was there I would pick a bouquet." That was Amy, nothing got in her way.

Get off the couch and get going, being overweight is a preventable condition but the side effects of it can take you away from those you love the most.

And the Winner is....ME!!!

Last night at our banquet for W.O.W. the results were finally shared of who the winners were. I had really hoped I would but until it actually happened, I really didn't think I would. I was even thinking when I was getting ready to go up to our get together last night that I really didn't care because I had already won so many things. I'm a lister by nature, I have daily to-do lists and that is what I was doing in my head about all the reasons that I already won so I want to share it because I came up with some pretty good stuff:

1. I talk to myself more positively
2. I don't have fat days anymore...just ones where I knew I had too much salt the day before
3. My husband bought me a new outfit from Vanity and I didn't have to say,"Honey, you know clothes from that store only fit skinny people"
4. I can go out to eat and take pride in knowing that I made good choices
5. For all the great people I have met at Average Joe's, to help cancel out some of the negative ones in my life
6. That I know when people say nothing at all about my weight loss...that it now comes as the world's greatest compliment.
7. The confidence I have around my family (if you knew my family you would understand)
8. That my husband says tells me I look good...with a little different look in his eye
9. That despite screwing up a few times, I actually stuck with something, saw it through, and now see the results.
10. Know that I have spent my last dollar on anything that has a headline that says "Get Skinny Quick"
11. Have cried for the last time watching Biggest Loser...because I won W.O.W. with the results I had, carried 9 credits on my Masters, AND started a brand new job IN THE SAME THREE MONTHS.
12. Don't get food to make me feel better about anything
13. Hearing my husband say he's really proud of me

Well that was yesterday and I don't want to minimize my success thus far, but I also don't want it to cloud my better judgement. This is the halfway point of where I am headed, and now I am going into uncharted territory, into a level of fitness I haven't ever seen before, so I have to keep my eye on the ball. My goal is to lose another ten pounds before the next W.O.W. starts January 9th....eek. It is weird I took my week off like Kristan told us too, and I lost 2.5 more than when I did my final weigh in.

So, onward into bootcamp on Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays and then Jillian Maximize Frontside on Tuesdays and Maximize Backside on Thursdays. And hopefully I can tell Santa to stick his holiday weight this year right up his wooohooo, if you know what I mean.

W.O.W. - The Finale

Well this is the email that wraps this program all up. In case you are reading this for the first time and have no idea what I am talking about, August 31st I began a program called W.O.W., which stands for the Workout of Workouts. It is a 12 week program, where you go to the gym here in my hometown Monday through Friday from 4:30-5:15am to workout, attend a weekly meeting from 5:15-5:30am on Mondays, and then you are also responsible for turning in your food logs every week showing our instructors what you have been eating so that you can get feedback from them or tips to help you maximize. Mon/Wed/Fri are cardio kickboxing and Tues/Thurs are strength training.

Doesn't sound that profound does it? It doesn't have a catchy slogan or a cheesy infomercial just a few people that give a crap about helping people live better lives. And all they wanted me to do was give them 45 minutes of my day and write down what i was eating....not that complicated is it?! When I started this I had excitement that was building up, but in the back on my head I really thought that that excitement would fade and that it would probably be another one of those things that I tried that just didn't work for me. And boy was I wrong. Here are my pics, the files are kind of big, but this is the beginning and after pics, I will post my original beginning pic when I get it so there is a good comparison.

Before

This morning at final weigh in-i'll be honest....damn i look hot

My measurements before (Aug. 31):

Body Fat Percentage: 41.8%

Weight: 224.5

Hips: 51 1/2"

Waist: 48 3/4"

Chest: 43 1/2"

Thigh: 28 1/2"

Arm: 13 3/4"

Push-Ups in 1 min: 0

Sit-Ups in 1 min: 30

My measurements after (Nov. 20):

Body Fat Percentage: 38.3%

Weight: 194.6

Hips: 48"

Waist: 41 3/4"

Chest 40"

Thigh: 26"

Arm: 12 3/4

Push-ups in 1 min.: 19

Sit-ups in 1 min: 43

I have been instructed to take a few days off after an intensive program like this, and my body is telling me the same thing....but alas no worries because I start Kickboxing Bootcamp November 30th at 4:30 AM....followed by the next W.O.W. starting January 9!!!!!!

W.O.W. Week 10

Yes I have fallen off the face of the planet a few weeks.  I am still making a lot of progress on W.O.W. and learning so much about myself that it is insane.  Currently I am weighing in at 198.6 pounds, which brings my complete loss to 25.9 pounds since I started this program and 36 since January when I really started trying to lose weight the right way. 

SYSK: Kristan Steinbron

This is a link to me on the KWWL news, which is a local news channel here in Northeast Iowa, and they have a segment called "Someone You Should Know" and I nominated my teacher at my gym for it and she got it!! It was great, but it is a inside look into what I have been doing for the last almost 11 weeks now.  

I am happy about the fact that I am not the same person I was when I started this.  I don't feel deprived any way about the choices that I am making.  There are some days that are alot harder than others, but I don't want to be that girl anymore or ever again.

Other things that I have found that have helped me include:

1. www.smoothiecompany.com you can order the mixes and protein powder off this website and it gives you 20 grams of protein, and it really helps you feel full but you can't taste the protein powder at all (and that is really saying something because generally that stuff makes me gag like crazy) A girl at class introduced me to this and man I love it, and it is so low maintenance for in the morning. 

2. South Beach High Protein Cereal Bars- Again for only 140 cals you get 10 grams of protein, so many of us when we are trying to lose weight cut out the wrong things.  If you eat the proper amount of protein, you won't even notice that you are under 1200 cals in a day because YOU FEEL FULL!!! its really neat.  This is one of my favorite ways to get in some extra.

3. The Power of Poached Eggs- I haven't ever been a breakfast person, I really got an intervention from Kristan in class about this because it really has become the most important one of the day for me. This is a meal that I will have any time of day because just boil about 5 inches of water, break two eggs into a dish then dump in the water (simultaneously put one piece of toast down in toaster), let it boil over at least twice, scoop them out onto the toast, put a little salt and pepper on them.....and taaaada you have an amazing meal that will keep you going for 3-4 hours for 15 grams of protein and under 300 cals. 

4. Plan ahead or plan to fail!! Plan your meals ALL OF THEM and stick to it the best you can. I even put my food for the entire day into my spark nutrition tracker then the next morning I go in and make a few changes if they did, but normally i delete stuff. 

However, the most important thing that I have learned through this journey so far....is that there is no meal on earth or food that can make me feel better than trying on the smallest pair of jeans I own (SIZE 16) and have them be baggy like I did THIS MORNING!!!!!

To anyone reading this that is just waiting to lose weight until they have time to spend on it, have money to pay for it, or whatever, don't miss out on your life. If working out at home doesn't work for you (like me), or you prefer to work out at home but are burned out from what you are doing.  Make an investment in yourself, because when you stop giving yourself a choice about being unhealthy...change will happen. And 

Yikes

So it's been a good 1.5 months since I updated. UGH.

Anyway, I really fell off the face of the planet there for a while, but I'm very happy to say that I am back in the saddle again, and going on day 8 of exercising and eating moderately well. Not perfect by any means, but pretty good. I have some exciting things coming up in the next few months (kind of personal, not really blog worthy) that are really motivating me right now, so I'm running with it while I can! With the holidays coming up I know I'm really going to have to hunker down and keep my goals in mind, but I think I'm ready for it.

I love being able to go to bed at night and think about my day, and feel proud of the choices I've made.

W.O.W. Week 6-Half Way Point

Well to say that this has been easy would be a big fat lie, but to say that it has been worth it would be the biggest understatement I have ever heard also.  On Saturday we had our weigh in, measurements, and did our 1 min of push-ups/sit-ups to check on our progress.  You will never hear me complain about getting up at 4am ever again.

Beginning Measurements Today's Measurements

Body Fat: 41.8% Body Fat: 39.9%

Weight: 224 Weight: 206

Hips: 51.5" Hips: 49.5"

Upper Thigh: 28.5" Upper Thigh: 26"

Waist: 48.75" Waist: 43.5"

Upper Arm: 13.75" Upper Arm: 14"

Chest: 43.5" Chest: 41.5"

Yes you are reading those right people....I would like you to focus in on my waist...5.25" lost, I was in such disbelief that I made her measure it again.  

There just isn't a lot to say this week, it is Tuesday and I am still very much speechless.  However, my only words to those that read our blog, is that it is a sure bet that if I can make these changes in 6 weeks that anyone can.  I don't need Biggest Loser to motivate me, because I'm not on a TV show, this is my life and I am back in control of it.  

W.O.W. Week 5

This week I learned a lot about how hard it is eating out and not being at home while maintaining a diet regime.  Plus I had a really horrible cold last week too, but I didn't use it as an excuse to not get my butt out of bed and go to class.  

We had a different instructor on Friday, TJ, and he really was awesome.  It was different to have us warming up on the bags, and we got to do more sparring which is one of my favorite things to do. But overall it was just a hell of a good workout.

I didn't lose any weight this week, but I didn't gain either.  I'm taking that as a victory in and of itself because I went to two of my favorite types of restaurants, mexican and panera bread, and I did a good job of ordering etc.  Then Saturday we went to a wedding and I just didn't plan right, I thought I would make it through without any kinks, but I didn't.  My body was starving and I had a few beers with friends...so I ate the food.  But week 6 is going to be better.

I can't wait till next week, we are weighing, measuring, and doing our Body fat % because it will mark the halfway point for us. 

W.O.W. Week 4

This week has been a roller coaster, I was up a pound then I was down 3-4 but I settled on Monday morning at 210 which puts me down 2 more pounds and brings me to a total of 14 pounds that i have lost in exactly one month....I now completely understand why the name of the class is WOW.  

My biggest fear is the lack of hours in a day right now.  I know that if I didn't get up and work out it isn't like I would get up and work on homework, but I am so stressed out in every area of my life that it is so awesome that I have an outlet at the gym because I think I would go insane because this is the one thing that I am doing right and seeing the results.

I signed up for Kickboxing Bootcamp that starts November 30 and goes through the last week in December, then I signed up for the W.O.W. that starts January 9th.  Crazy I know, but my fear is that I would have too much time to talk myself out of it if I didn't and obviously this is working.  

Every week I feel myself getting strong, and looking in the mirror in the morning seeing my shoulders getting defined, and putting on pants and not having them cut me in half.  This change in my life should have happened so long ago, but the past is the past and the future is what I am going to make of it.  Our kickboxing is getting harder and harder, which it feels so damn good to just sweat my ass off.  The strength training is awesome and the girl that teaches us (lyndie) is buff as hell and well I'll be honest I want her shoulders...hahah. I have been constantly pushing myself to use more weight for curls, and red bands for resistance.  Every day I am getting closer to the me I want to be on the outside that I am already on the inside. 

Never in a million years did I think I would say this, but it takes 21 days to develop a habit and well I have....I like getting up at 4:00am to work out.  I can't think of any other way I would want to start my day and as I sit here at my desk at school knowing I have another hour before anyone will be here to bother me I know that I was always meant to be a morning exerciser and that this is the beginning of the rest of my life.  I am going to beat the cycle in my family, I am going to be healthy and fit when john and I decide to try to have a baby, and I am going to be proud of the fact that I signed myself up for this damn class for the rest of my life that started me on this journey.

Because blogging is my therapy...

UGH. Sometimes I frustrate myself beyond belief.

I skipped lunch today.

I didn't bring anything from home, and suddenly realized how hungry I was about 30 minutes ago (2 pm). So instead of running to Subway down the block, I ran to Burger King, also just down the street. And I ordered a Whopper with cheese, and a medium fry. The whole time I was doing it, I kept thinking "Mallory! What are you doing?? You have issues girl. You have issues. This isn't what you really want." Seriously, that's what a conversation in my head looks like when I am about to binge. And then I generally follow thru with my bad behavior, even though I know it's not going to make me happy. It's something that I do and that I need to get a grip on. Anyway, I got the food back here to work, pigged down all the fries without hardly even tasting them, and cut the burger in half and only ate half. Then threw the other half out. Which I guess you could say that's a good thing, but I still just consumed 695 calories (probably more including the cheese) and I feel so gross. Stomach hurting, the works. I'm so disappointed in myself and wish that I would just use my willpower to stop these behaviors. UGH. I really need to get over this completely unhealthy eating thing that's been happening off and on for the past week. I haven't stepped on the scale for a week or so, but I'm sure it wouldn't be pretty if I did. I am really starting to miss that feeling of LOSING WEIGHT. I feel like one little part of me is saying "Good job, Mal! You've lost 30 lbs now you're good to go!" And of course I know that's not true.

Anyway, I really need to do this for myself so I am promising YOU, Internet, that I am going to go jogging tonight. I think with my exercise routine being out of whack it really hasn't helped my eating struggles. So that's what I will do this evening. At least 45 minutes worth of jogging/walking. AND I will go to the store and get a few Healthy Choice meals to bring for lunches. Those tend to keep me in line pretty well. Phew. Feeling a little better already. I'll report back tomorrow on how that all goes.

I have issues.

With food, that is. But I already knew that.

It's time to confess... I am EXTREMELY disappointed in myself and I feel like I won't be able to let it go until I just write it all down and officially get over it.

The last 2 days have been a complete disaster, both with exercise and eating. I mean DISASTER. I have just been craving sweets and saltys, and I've given in more than I would like to admit. I mean king sized candy bars, doughnuts galore, hamburgers and fries (x2), gigantic breakfast burritos, hot dogs, cookie dough... you name it. And I have no excuses so I'm not even going to go there.

As far as exercising, I decided after my jog on Saturday to take a break from jogging for now because I have what seems to be a pulled muscle in my thigh that is just not going away. It's actually really weird, half the time it feels like a pinched nerve, half the time it feels like its a pulled muscle, and when it first happened it felt like it was in my hip socket. It happened when I was wearing those horrible awful shoes, and it seems like I just hurt it all over again each time I go jogging. I would just push through the pain and get over it but I've decided that I really need to let it heal before it becomes something worse. And I had every intention of doing the elliptical or biking in place of jogging, but I just haven't done it. End of story.

Anyway, today I am back on track with my eating, and planning a 60 minute bike ride this evening. I'm actually really looking forward to it because it's been a while since I have ridden. I'm also looking forward to the over all good feeling that I get from exercise, because my choices the past few days have really had a negative effect on my overall outlook. It's amazing how the things you eat, and lack of exercise effect your entire life.

Well now that I have, in a way, made my confession, I feel like I am over this and officially moving on. I'm so done feeling icky. I have reason to believe i've been craving like mad due to PMS but I'm not using that as an excuse. I know I'm stronger than that and I'm happy to be done with it.

Have a great day everyone! I'm feeling better already.

W.O.W. Week 3

Well it is the week of the plateau...I was only down one pound this week to 212.  I am not complaining, I knew it was coming I just wasnt quite ready for the tidal wave of weight to stop coming off.  

Last week the strength training we did was incredibly intense, and by the end of the week Lyndie had me in pain.  But it was such a good pain, and muscles that needed to be worked but on my own I would have had no idea how to.  

This week I am making sure that I am focusing on staying strong with recording my food on sparkpeople, and working through this stagnate time instead of using it as my excuse to make a few mistakes.  Here we go!!!

Just for the hell of it.

Because I'm having somewhat of a crap day, and am desperately searching for ways to tune out until 4:30...

I completely forgot to blog about my new running shoes that I got a couple weeks ago.

These pretty little babies... Introducing the Pearl izumi Syncropace III's.

Let me start off with saying... if you don't have comfortable running shoes and you're running... INVEST IN NEW SHOES. Really. Just do it. I went to a running shoe store, they performed a (free) computerized foot analysis which showed that I slightly over pronate and should get a stability shoe (be sure to go to a place who does this! it's very cool and informative). So I tried on about a million pairs of different stability shoes, tested them out on the treadmill and everything, and went home with a pair that I thought were the answer to my prayers. I took them out for a spin that night, and the next morning I could barely walk my legs and hips hurt so bad. Literally. COULD BARELY WALK. Those suckers jacked me up in a way that I didn't even know was possible. Turns out they had a little too much stability for me, and were making my over pronating feet become under pronating feet. Luckily my shoe store of choice has a 15 day return policy so I went back and tried on a million MORE pairs, and came home with these lime green hot mommas.

OK so maybe HOT MOMMAS isn't exactly the right word here but hey, they are 360 degree reflective, so chances are I will never get run over by a car while jogging. They are by far the most expensive yet least attractive shoe I have ever bought in my life (they are a much brighter green than they look in the picture). But incredibly awesome and worth every penny considering that I have not had ONE SECOND of shin pain/ knee pain since wearing these! I almost can't even believe it. Even the smallest jogs in my old shoes (seriously small, like 15 seconds of jogging) would result in shin pain for the rest of the day on my right leg. I was wrapping it in ace bandages, resting, icing... and the next time I would go out BAM. Shin pain once again. But now I can run 9 whole minutes (hello, can you tell I'm proud?!) in a row without stopping, and still no shin pain!!

I've really been loving the whole jogging thing lately. I've sort of ditched the couch to 5k program, and taken off on my own program. I feel like it got me started really well and now I just want to do my own thing. An evening at the track goes like this - 1 lap warm up walk, 3 laps jogging (9 minutes), 1 lap walk, 3 laps jogging (another 9 minutes), 1 lap walk, and 3 MORE laps jogging, followed by a cool down for however long I feel like walking, typically 2 or 3 more laps. Not bad for a girl who could barely jog 60 seconds a couple months ago. I've done this about 4 or 5 times, and I think next week I will move those 3 laps up to 4 laps!! Which means I will officially be jogging ONE MILE WITHOUT STOPPING. I never thought I'd see the day, but I know I'll be able to do it. I'm already so close at 3 laps! Jogging is not easy for me. I've sort of come to the conclusion that it will never be easy for me. But the thing that keeps me going is the way I feel AFTER a jog. Wow. It's unlike anything I've ever felt. I get such a feeling of accomplishment, knowing that I'm really pushing myself and knowing that each time I go out, I'm getting just a little bit closer to accomplishing my goal of running a 5k and it's just an all around awesome feeling. I love it so much and am so glad that I took that first scary as can be step towards becoming a jogger.

And now I will wrap it up, but I am curious... who is out there?? I mean YOU. Reading this. I've noticed that we have some recurring readers (though there are few, I know you are out there!) and I just want to know who you are! Leave a comment or something so we can come check out your blog(s) too!

W.O.W. Week 2

Well I guess WOW is its name for a very good reason.  I have been eating like an absolute rockstar for two weeks now with no real mess ups or laps in judgement and it has paid off.  I weighed in this morning at 4 am at 213 pounds...which is down 6 this week and 11 total for the program.  Did you read the subject line....yes week 2 of 12.  I can't hardly believe what I am saying.

This last week that hardest part was going out in public.  If I could just hibernate in my house eating healthy would be so easy, but that just isn't real life.  I went out with my association friends on Friday night for a beer, but instead of Bud Light I ordered Michelob Ultra, which is surprisingly good.  I have yet to find on the shelf the Bud Select 55 that my friend Stephanie says in delish too.  But I just don't drink hard alcohol, because I underestimate its effect on me, so I have to stick with what I know.  

Other than that the meal logging and calorie counting is coming pretty easily at this point, but I am not getting enough protein I don't think.  I'm just not sure how to get it in which is something that would be good to meet with Kristan about.  The workouts are great and I actually like getting up in the morning early, and getting such a good start to the day.  Well here's to a good Monday!! and a rapidly approaching week 3, can't wait to see what my body is capable of this week.

W.O.W. Week 1

The first week of WOW ended successfully, I weighed in at 224 and at the end of this week I was down to a surprising 219.  This simply depended on the scale that I was using because according to my home scale it was 217.8, but I was extremely ecstatic about a 5 pound loss in one week.

The hardest challenge that first week surprisingly wasn't getting up at 4 am, but actually making my body go to sleep at 8-8:30 at night.  The first few nights I would fall asleep and wake up at midnight because I think my body thought I was taking a nap or something.  However, then the sheer exhaustion of my day set in.  

Our coach Kristan made a very important statement before we started this journey and she said that if you don't plan...plan to fail.  This couldn't be more true, because I lay out my work clothes next to my workout clothes the night before, and pack my lunch with plenty of snacks, generally a couple extras just incase I get a craving or something.  This week I have stayed at or below 1200 calories which is very impressive for me.

Kristan is someone who easily motivates you because she is also a nurse, so she doesn't just know the workout side of fitness but has such a wide grasp on the nutrition side as well.  She met with each of us individually this week to go over food logs and for us to verbally express our goals to her so she understands why we are in the class.  I told her I just want my body back better than I have ever had it and that I want to break the cycle of overweight women in my family.  She heard me and reminded me that when I get more comfortable to talk to them about it and show them that eating healthy isn't as hard as everyone makes it out to be.  Her final thought for me that really stuck out was "if you don't make a change how do you expect to get one"...soooo true. 

One year anniversary

Today marks my 1 year anniversary in this journey towards a new healthy lifestyle! I am happy to be able to say that I have lost exactly 30.0 lbs in the past year. Wow. If I am being completely honest I have to say that I never thought that was possible for me. And while I do really wish that I had tried harder, been more dedicated, and lost more weight, I am also very happy with having any loss at all. The biggest and most important lesson that I have learned in the past year is that I CAN DO IT. I really can lose weight if I will just try. And that's a really great lesson as far as I am concerned, because I honest to goodness didn't know if it was possible before.

So in honor of my anniversary, I will share my stats from one year ago, and from today.

9/11/08
207.8 lbs.
waist- 38 in.
hips- 46 in.
arms- 14 in.
thighs- 28 in.
bust-42 in.
ribs - 38 in.

9/11/09
177.8 lbs.
waist- 34 in.
hips- 42.5 in.
arms- 14 in.
thighs- left= 26 in. right= 26.5 in.
bust- 40 in.
ribs- 35.5 in.

Total loss of 30 lbs.

and 15.5 inches.

6:30 am on a Sunday

I have been extremely absent from life if general the last couple weeks.  Two weeks ago I started my new job at the high school teaching level III special education.  I was so nervous in the beginning but I am really feeling like i am getting into the swing of things.  Then I started classes at UNI to work on my Masters Degree in Special Education which is looking to be a hell of alot more work than I was anticipating.

However, the most exciting thing that I have done was last Saturday, August 29th, I weighed in for WOW.  Wow stands for the Workout of Workouts.  We attend class five days a week, four of which are just the people in our program, and the 5th we can attend a class of our choice.  Monday and Wednesday are cardio kickboxing, and Tuesday/Thursday are strength training.  

I weighed in at 224 pounds and my body fat percentage was 41%...not great numbers but I didn't know what the numbers would look like.  I have a long way to, but after week 1 of WOW I am down to 216.4 right now on my home scale.  There have been many times that I am questioning if that can even be possible, because I am eating, satisfied, and not starving.  The diet that we are on with WOW stresses the importance of lean protein.  Our instructor says our calories should come from 60% protein, 20% carbs, and 20% other.  My diet varies every day and I have been eating a variety of different meals.  If you are my friend on sparkpeople check out my tracker.

At 6 weeks we will measure and weigh, but we won't do our body fat analysis again until the middle of november.  This is my pledge to blog about my progress each week through this journey.  I can't wait to see what my body is capable of achieving.  

I did it!

(My shirt looks like it's soaking wet up there, but I promise it's just the shadow of my husband :O)

I'm proud to report that I crossed the finish line in the 2 mile fun run on Saturday. I wasn't able to run the whole thing (which I already knew was going to be the case), but 24 minutes and 7 seconds later, (and 313 calories!) I jogged across the finish line. The first mile was 11 mins and 30 seconds, and the second mile was 12 minutes and 37 seconds. Of course I know this is no world record, but I am still very proud! My very first 'race' that I paid money to attend! And it's fun because now I at least have something to compare myself to, and to work towards. Maybe once a week, or every other week I will time myself in a 2 mile run and watch my progression. Right now I am in week 4 of couch 2 5k, and I still plan on running a 5k this fall. I'd like to set a goal of finishing within 36 minutes or something like that. I guess at it gets closer, I will see. But I definitely AM going to do a 5k this year like I planned!

Edit: I just saw that on the 2oth I made a little goal of finishing within 25 minutes. I had forgotten about that but needless to say, I'm very happy.

I'm gonna make a supersonic manoutta YOU!

There is nothing that causes greater inner confusion than being 2 minutes and 30 seconds into a 3 minute jogging interval, feeling as though my lungs are going to near explode from my chest, and hearing Queen on my ipod "Don't stop me now! I'm having such a good time... Oh I'm having a ball!" It makes me laugh a little every time, and I love it! Queen is my friend when I run.

Anyway, I just received a little email that went something like this:

Registration Confirmation for: Hess Cancer Foundation Legacy Bike Tour and Half Marathon

Dear Mallory,Congratulations! You are now registered for Hess Cancer Foundation Legacy Bike Tour and Half Marathon on August 29, 2009. Please check the event's official website for updates: http://www.hesscancer.org View your complete registration details »Thank you for helping us with this great cause! Pick up your race packet on Friday, August 28 from noon - 8:00 pm at the South Davis Recreation Center.

It's true. I took this advice and suddenly found myself registering for a race. OK maybe it's not exactly a real true race, but it's a 2 mile fun run which is as close to a race as I've EVER been so I'm still very excited :O) We even get T-shirts and have to wear numbered bibs! I'm doing it with my handsome husband, and his sister and her husband.


Slight concern- The race is in 8 days. And at this point in time I can only jog for 3 minutes and 18 seconds without needing a break... so roughly .35 of a mile. Hmph. I guess it goes without saying that I'm going to be sporting my running shoes from now until then in hopes of building up some stamina! I think either tomorrow or Saturday I will start week 4 of couch to 5k and hopefully get to where I can jog 5 minutes without stopping. Whew! I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it, but very excited too! I'm thinking I need to make a little goal for myself to work towards. Something attainable, but that I'll have to work for. Like to finish within 25 minutes or so?! Wish me luck!

Getting Fit: Motivation

I wanted to post this here as something that I could look back on when I am struggling with motivation and dedication. It's from a dailySpark blog at SparkPeople.com.


Lately anything that talks about races and running really gets my blood pumping! Every now and then I get back to this basic mode of thinking- Screw getting skinny! Forget wearing smaller clothes and turning heads... I just want to feel good. I want to be able to run. I want to bike. I want to go for long hikes and walk up hilly streets without getting winded, I want to feel how strong my muscles are getting because of all the hard work I've done... That's what this is all about. I'm doing this for me and not anybody else. Anyway I loved this blog. I also really liked the idea of the mini triathlon! I never knew they did them so small, but I see that being something really fun to work towards.

Again, the following is from a blog (not my blog) at Sparkpeople.com.

"I've found a quick fix for motivation/body image issues! Want to know what it is?

Sign up for a race.

Mine is a long story, but I promise, it’ll make perfect sense, so bear with me! I started my weight loss journey after my fiancé, Kyle, proposed on December 27, 2007. I had always been thin and fairly active (hiking, yoga, rafting, skiing), and had never really watched what I ate.
As the years went on and my metabolism slowed, I gradually increased in my dress size, first from a size 4 to a size 6 in college, then from a size 6 to an 8/10 in graduate school. When Kyle proposed, I began to realize that my body wasn't what it used to be, and I wanted to look perfect for my wedding in August 2009. I knew what I had to do: eat right and exercise.

Diet pills really weren’t an option—I wanted to make a lifestyle change and didn’t want a quick fix (a pill) to fix the problem that could lead to more trouble down the road (a screwed-up metabolism). So I joined a gym with my good friend Alie, and signed up for the free session with a personal trainer at the gym. I showed up at the gym in my cute little yoga top and bottoms, fully expecting the trainer to tell me, “You don't need to lose weight! You look GREAT!" I got the shock of my life and started to cry when I stepped on the scale: 184. My driver's license (from high school, mind you), said I weighed 150 pounds. I was shocked and angry at myself that I had slowly piled on 34 pounds over the years. My BMI was at 25, directly on the border of healthy and overweight. How could I have let myself get out of control--I didn't even own a scale!

After a rigorous workout with the trainer, Erin, I hired her for 12 training sessions. You'd think that paying for a personal trainer and losing weight for your wedding would provide some motivation to get on the wagon, right? Wrong. Though Erin was amazing, 12 sessions divided over six weeks wasn't enough to get my body back on track. I was working out pretty hard and hungry ALL THE TIME, and was consistently erasing my hard work at the gym by overeating at home (and yup--you CAN overeat on the healthy stuff, too!). I did lose some weight and body fat, but the best thing I gained from Erin was learning how to run.

For my entire life, I HATED to run, but it wasn't until I hired Erin that I realized why: I was running wrong. I'd hit the ground with the ball of my foot first instead of the heel. Though I didn't LOVE it, I felt like after my training sessions, I could actually run with little pain, and was beginning to enjoy it. During our training sessions, Erin was training for Robie Creek, the toughest half marathon in the West. I'd always wanted to race; I had a friend who was a member of "The Breakfast Club," which was a group of friends that would get together every Sunday morning for breakfast and a marathon training run.

Each year, they picked a different marathon to do. The walls of her living room were covered with posters from those marathons (signed by all the members of the Breakfast Club, of course). I always thought that was so neat, and such an accomplishment, but when I was working out with my trainer, I felt like there was no way I could ever do one. I kept up with my workouts, but it wasn't until I joined Spark People last July that I really started to see results. I knew what to eat and how much for the first time. That alone was worthwhile. I learned about balance and moderation. I entered every bit of food I put into my mouth.

As the weight started to come off (I'm at 157, with a goal weight of 140 for my wedding), I started to think I might be able to do a race someday. Kyle was training for the Ironman 70.3, and I was always inspired by his dedication. This sounds TOTALLY cheesy, but when I was watching a recent season of The Biggest Loser, I was SUPER inspired by Helen. Here was this 48-year-old woman, who, three months before was obese, finishing a MARATHON. I said to myself that if she could do it, I could do it.

During the commercial break, I signed up for my first 5K. My new-year's resolution morphed from a rather ambiguous "lose weight and look perfect" to "run a 5K and a 10K in 2009; do a half marathon and a marathon in 2010." After trying to lose weight for 15 months, you can get pretty burned out from the diet restrictions and exercising all the time. I found that when I was training for that 5K, it was easier to focus. Working out had a purpose and the purpose was to prove to myself that I could do it. Fifteen months ago, I couldn't do 20 minutes on the treadmill without feeling like I was going to die. On May 16, I ran 3.1 miles in 33 minutes, and never felt prouder of anything in my life. I know that 3.1 miles isn't very far, but it was the first step to accomplishing my goals. After I crossed that finish line, I had my own Biggest Loser moment. This time last year, I had told Kyle I couldn't do what I just did. Now, eight weeks out from my wedding, I'm training for my first triathlon (just a mini-one: 1/4-mile swim, 5-mile bike, 2-mile run). It's no Ironman, but it’s a start.

Speaking of Ironman, Kyle finished the 70.3 miler (1.3-mile swim, 56-mile bike ride, and 13-mile run!) in 6:08. After the race, as I was collecting Kyle’s bags and his bicycle, I met a really friendly man in his mid-60s. He had placed first in his age division—the 55 and older group. He told me he just started running three years ago, and just started doing triathlons two years ago. Now here he was, mid-60s, placing first in his age group on a 70.3 mile race! Again I thought to myself, “If he can do it, I can do it!”

Since I’ve been training for my 5K and my mini-triathlon, I’ve eased up on myself a little and am beginning to appreciate my body for all it can do--how fast it can go, how hard it can work--flaws and all. I’m far from perfect, but training for races has given me an appreciation for my body the way it is, now, not in 15 pounds, not in a dress size. And all this training will undoubtedly help me reach my goal weight and look FANTASTIC for my wedding. It’s just amazing—and encouraging—to look at what I can do now and what I’m capable of now versus where I was a year ago. And that’s more than I could say 15 months ago. Training for a race isn’t about coming in first; it’s about dedicating yourself to finishing, and proving to yourself that you can do it.

Admittedly, I wanted to lose weight for my wedding and look “perfect” to impress other people (but don’t we all?). No wonder I’ve lost my motivation! But with racing, I feel like I’m doing it just for ME. I’m doing it to prove to the 184-pound version of me that there was a 140-pound person hiding under there and that that person is capable of anything. I’m doing it to prove to myself that I’ll NEVER be that heavy again. I’m doing it to prove I can put in the time, dedicate myself to finishing, and know I can do it. I’m doing it to prove I can, to prove I’m worth it—to myself. And that’s an empowering feeling, something no one can ever take away from me. And that’s more than I could say 15 months ago."

Hi, I'm that girl who never blogs anymore. Remember me?

Some people who write weight loss blogs take pictures of everything they eat. If I had done that the past 14 days, it would look something like this- and keep in mind that I really did eat at least one, but often more than one, of everything pictured here:

Someone please tell me... WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??????

I think the past 2 weeks have been the worst 2 weeks (as far as eating healthy and exercising go) that I have had in a really long time. Maybe the worst I've had since I began this journey, last September!? 2 weekends of camping, road trips and birthday parties have done me in.

And that makes me feel terrible. I stepped on the scale yesterday and if it was correct, I have gained about 4.5 lbs within the past 2 weeks. That just makes me feel ill. And not just because of the gain, but also because I have not exercised one bit and I know it's going to be really tough to pick back up on my couch 2 5k program, where I left off. I had just finished week 3 and was ready to move on to week 4, but I think I am going to take this week to redo week 3. I don't want to jump into week 4 (which consists of 5 minutes of running without stopping) knowing I probably can't handle it, because I will just get frustrated and either injure myself, or feel like a failure. So it is official, I am starting week 3 again this week, and I am going to push through and just do it. No excuses at all. I know I can do it and I love how proud I feel when I accomplish just one day of that program.

I really have no good excuse for my lack of good behavior in the past 2 weeks. I was pms'ing and rather than battle my cravings 'till the death, I gave in without so much as a fight. It was very disappointing, and I am now reaping the consequences of that. And it really sucks. But I guess that's part of this whole weight loss thing anyway.

I am less than a month away from hitting my "1 year mark" of this so called journey to healthiness. At this current time, I have lost 26 lbs in that 11 months. I was really hoping to hit 45 or 50 lbs, but now my goal is much lower and I am just hoping to get back to my 30 lb. mark, where I was before these last 2 weeks of destruction. So that is my goal for right now. By September 11, 2009 I hope to have lost 30 lbs, and I hope to weigh 177.8 (or less!) pounds. I can do that.

My sister in law texted me the other day and mentioned that there is supposed to be a 2 mile fun run nearby on August 29th. I mentioned before that she is much smaller than me, and in much better shape. And I'm very happy to say that that doesn't intimidate me. Anyone with eyes can see that she is much thinner and therefore can most likely fun faster/farther/longer than I can, and I'm ok with that. I think it will be good for me to do the fun run with her, and let her know that I will not be able to run the whole thing, but she can go at her own pace and I will meet her at the finish line. She mentioned to me that when we do our 5k this fall (I'm thinking either October 10 or the 24th?) that her goal will be to run the whole thing without having to walk, even if she is running at a super slow pace. I thought that sounded like a pretty good goal, so I am going to work towards that as well. Since I am in the 3rd week of couch to 5k, and it is 9 weeks long, I should be able to run 3.1 miles by that time without too much trouble. Just typing that I'm like (Come on Mallory, are you trying to kid yourself or WHAT?) but deep down I know that if I really try for it, and stick with this program that I WILL be able to do this. I've mentioned before that I am the girl who starts things, not a girl who finishes things, but I am going to finish this if it kills me. This is where I am going to really step up, and prove to myself that I am capable even though my whole life I have thought I wasn't.

What a blog of rambling! But that's all I have to say for now. I'm happy to be back to the real world, back to working towards my goals, and back into my groove. Lunch today is turkey on wheat, and watermelon with a grilled chicken salad for dinner. Ah, it really does feel good to be back.

W3D1

I did it!!

It's official that I CAN run a whole lap without wishing I were dead. However... on the program it says to run 3 minutes or 400m, which is one lap. So I went with the distance rather than the time, and I think I was jogging about 2 minutes and 40 seconds per lap. So next time I'm going to stick with time, rather than distance.

Anyway, not only did I DO it, but I did some extra laps as well (not consecutively jogging, but jogging nonetheless!)!!

Im excited to finish week 3 and REALLY REALLY challenge myself on week 4. I still cant fathom 5 minutes of jogging... that's almost 2 laps?! But a week ago I couldnt' imagine running ONE lap... so we'll see!

Week 2... DONE

Heaven help me!

We start week 3 of couch to 5K on Wednesday and... I'm so nervous! Up until now, 90 seconds of jogging is all I had to do at a single time, but in week 3 it becomes 3 whole minutes of jogging intervals. That's one full lap, at the pace I've been going.

I'm so nervous but I know I can do it! It's going to be haaaaard but I'll do it and I'll do it without stopping!!

And I am officially going to do a 5k this fall with my sister in law. I'm excited to have a real goal to work towards! And knowing that she's going to be doing it with me is the extra push I need, so I know I absolutely can't give up, because she's counting on me! (Not to mention she's tiny, so I'll have to really work it to keep up with her!) Next phase is signing up for an actual race. Just thinking about that makes me nervous but I'm doing it!

This week is going awesome so far. As far as exercise AND eating well. We did the c25k last night and tonight I'm planning on a 60 minute bike ride. Anyway, as a girl who has spent most of her life feeling insecure and inferior and bad about herself, when I have proud moments I try to really appreciate them all I can. And today at lunch I had one of those moments. And it's as simple as this- I went to the cafe and ordered my turkey sandwich as usual, and rather than ordering the little bag of chips along with it, I got mixed fruit. Because I 100% didn't even want the chips. I just thought about how the grease and oil and fat of the chips would dissolve into all the cells in my body... and about how if I got fruit all the nutrients and vitamins would dissolve into the cells in my body... and when you think of it that way, it's a really simple choice after all! Anyway that was just a proud little moment for me and I wanted to share :O)

Cherish even the small signs of progress.

My weekend funk

"A frog, hopping around the farm, minding his own business, fell right into a pail half-filled with cream. Swimming frantically, he found the sides too steep and too high. Determined not to give up, he continued to struggle. He kicked and squirmed, kicked and squirmed until at last his churning had turned the cream into a block of butter – allowing him to hop right out. He never gave up!" ~sparkpeople.com

This is the story of my weekend, although it doesn't have the happy ending that this did.  I came across this little story in an article about just having to deal with the times that are hard.  This weekend was so hard for me and I don't know why.  My husband related it to our 28 day reminder of being a woman, but I feel like it was much more than that.  I was just overwhelmed and crabby, and to be honest I don't know if I was even being nice.  I was over sensitive to everything, and melodramatic about everything that I wasn't over sensitive to.  

I feel fine today, so now I have the power of hindsight.  All last week I did a great job of exercising and until Friday my eating was great too.  I took a client out for Chinese...and from there I just felt like I lost all control.  I had fast food for supper, then saturday morning i had it again, then we ordered pizza saturday night.  To top it off, Sunday we went to the fair, and I ate like hell AGAIN.

What the hell was I thinking? This is where my frustration is....I know how to do everything right but I don't know how to stop myself once i start.  And then I begin the mental battle of "shoulda coulda woulda" begins. The moral of my story of the weekend is that I have so much to work on and Jillian is right too when she talks about how you have to face your demons to be successful.  I am going to the doctor this week for me pre-employment physical and I have a laundry list of questions for him too.  

Now I am moving on, I will look back to fix it but I'm not going to dwell on it.  

Week 2 Day 1

Last night the husband and I headed to the track for w2d1 of couch to 5k. I'll be honest... it was more difficult than I was expecting! Hence the clipart :O) I did feel like my heart was going to burst out of my chest at the end of every single 90 second interval, but I didn't have to stop jogging during any of the 90 seconds! Of course I wanted to, but I kept thinking 'I've just got to push through this one, because if I can finish this whole session without stopping, then I'll be able to do the next 2 days of week 2 without stopping too, because I'll know I CAN do it!' So with that thought, I kept pushing and it was a success. I am also very happy to be able to say that my calf/shin is feeling great today! No soreness whatsoever! Since it was so incredibly sore after my last jog, the husband and I went to WalMart and got us both (he had extreme foot/leg pain after his last attempt at jogging as well) Dr. Scholls shoe insterts. And I bought an ace bandage to wrap around my calf while jogging AND we were on the track rather than the road. So between these 3 variables, the jog was a great success with zero pain ailing me today. John said he felt great as well, so that was a great improvement for us. I like that he is jogging with me. We both have tomorrow off and are planning a morning jog for day 2. Woohoo! Soon enough I'll be at week 3!

I'm doing really well on my goals for this week, except for today I'm going to miss working out. Which is ok, because I plan to make up for it either Saturday or Sunday. I'm glad I wrote those goals down. I really wasn't in the mood for doing my elliptical on Tuesday, but I made it happen because I wanted to be able to have a good report of my goals at the end of the week.

She's graduating

From week 1 of Couch 2 5K, that is!

I'm very happy to be able to report that I have officially completed week 1 of C25K. I ended up doing it last night instead of elliptical'ing. It was my third and final go at week 1, and it was the best one yet. I'm sure it has a little something to do with the fact that it was the evening and perfect weather (not blistering hot like the other 2 days I've done it) but I felt SOOO good jogging last night! At the end of each 60 second interval I kept thinking 'Wow, I could totally just keep going!' And I DID a couple times. I jogged a couple of the intervals as 90 seconds rather than 60, just because I felt like it. And then on the very last one, I went ahead and jogged for 2 minutes rather than 1. I know they say not to jump ahead in the program (which I'm not really...) but I just wanted to push myself and felt really good about it. And another crazy thing is i'm actually craving to go jogging today! I wont because my calf is sore AND I know at this early on in the program I really do need to be giving myself a day in between jogging. So needless to say, I'm really excited about starting week 2 and seeing how much more I can progress in just a short week. I'll be jogging a full mile without stopping in no time! That will be a HUGE freaking milestone for me. I haven't done that since 10th grade which was about 7 years ago! One small problem I am having is a sore calf/shin after jogging. I'm not sure if it's a shin splint or what, but it's hurting after I jog. I try to focus on my form and everything, but it's giving me troubles every time. I guess all I can really do is be careful, ice it after jogging, and keep going to strengthen whatever the problem is! I really am so excited about this program. I feel like in a way it is giving me a break on watching my weight so closely. I typically weigh myself every day and focus on that a lot more than I probably should, but I feel like this is giving me something else to work towards and focus on, rather than just losing weight. I can't believe i'm saying this but I am honest to goodness thinking about signing up for a 5K this fall. I never thought those words would pass my lips, but I have a feeling that I can push myself a lot harder/farther than I ever realized. Maybe I will become one of those crazy people who loves running afterall!

My 1000 Calorie Day

I just had to celebrate that i burned 1008 calories working out yesterday.  I went on a 30 minute bike ride and burned 354 calories.  I think i increased the burn during my bike ride because i listened to Serena William's Spontaneous Speed that I got off of iTunes.  This is an interval workout that instructs you when to pick up your pace etc.  

Then I went to cardio kickboxing at 5:30 and it was intense.  I burned 654 cals in 45 mins which is just amazing to me.  We did so much ab work, and I learned that jumping rope with a real rope is the number one way to reduce to cellulite. 

anyway just a great day for me and wanted to share it.

My Goals for This Week

This morning Stephanie asked me what my goals for the week are. I HAD been thinking about what I should do this week as far as exercise goes, but I didn't have any definite goals so she got me thinking. My goals for this week:

1. Couch to 5k Tuesday, Thursday (morning!!), and Saturday. Thursday will be my 1st day of week 2, and my first day of doing it in the am!!
2. Monday and Wednesday, 60 minutes of working out either with a video, elliptical, bike, or tennis.
3. Be MINDFUL of what I'm putting in my mouth.
4. Eat more veggies (I've been slacking with this one lately)

Let me take a minute to write about the C25K thing. I'm still really excited about it and anxious to see what kind of progress I make! I did day 2 on Saturday and at the end of each 60 second jog I felt like 'Hey... I could totally keep jogging for a little longer!' Which was an exciting feeling to have, but I didn't do it because I want to stick with the plan and not over do it. I decided that the easiest way to stick with this is to tell people that I'm doing it. That will help keep me accountable for sure. I've told John of course, and Stephanie (duh), but I've also told my sister and my mom, and my sister in law. I also joined the Spark Group (it was after reading some posts in the Spark Group that I decided it was something I should do), and I will be posting regularly there for a little feedback and accountability. I'm looking forward to this week, sort of as a way to un-do all the bad that I did to my body over the weekend. I need to learn that it's OK to flat out say NO to cravings. It's just soooo not worth it! Ever! I feel like when I'm craving something, I will push it off to the side of my mind for a while. And I will push and push and push, until I can't hold it off any longer, and then I cave in. I need to stop doing that and realize that I DO have the strength to just flat out say NO.

I am going to my hometown on August 7th for my friends baby shower. Right now I'm using this as a little motivation stepping stone. I want to feel and look great when I see my old friends!

Who is co-signing your B.S.?

Another jillian quote off of her radio show...but seriously this is something that I feel I need to blog about.  I am guilty of continuously looking to all the wrong places for support in living a healthy life lifestyle and making good choices.  Unfortunately I make the wrong call alot.  Sometimes I find that I am getting ready to make a huge mistake in eating or my will power is getting ready to take a day off....I need to take a moment and realize who I am asking for encouragement.  Usually I call someone that will say "yeah do it just work out for an extra 12031937 hours next week" or "just this once it will be fine you can have a mountain of ice cream" I know who I need to contact in these situations...I know that I need to text mal real quick instead of taking an advice from those around me.

A prime example of this was 4th f july i was so bummed out because I made some horrible choices and i text mal about it pretty late at night...and I mean I was on the verge of falling off the wagon and just really decorating for a stephanie pitty party and her simple response stopped me.  She said "well tomorrow is a new day lets just do better" or something really simple like that. 

So I am back on track starting right now, it is just like me to be melodramatic about messing up for a few days.  I have to get over it and move on.  

"Failure isn't judged by what you did to fail, it is decided by how you respond to it" 

~Jillian Michaels

Stephanie's Day 1 Week 1 of Couch to 5K

So I decided I need a way to hold myself accountable to this new challenge and what better way to hold myself accountable than to blog about it.  It isn't going to a huge monologue about it, but enough to make myself look like an ass if I don't...Yes I know...interesting way to think about it but I truly am motivated by some of the oddest things.  

My first day today actually was surprising ok.  I wore a sweatshirt so I would sweat my bootie off and it worked well.  Then I got through all the circuits, I know that this is probably the easy week, but it is still a heck of a good work out.  Mainly it sets me up for success when I got home and I can recover without feeling as if death is right around the corner.  I burned 350 cals in 30 min which is pretty sweet.  Well we will see how it goes!!

New Granola Recipe

INGREDIENTS:

1/4 Cup Butter
1/4 Cup Honey
1/4 Cup Natural Peanut Butter
2.5 Cup Oats
1 Cup Chopped Nuts (I used roasted almonds with sea salt)
1 Cup Coconut
1 Cup Dried Fruit (I used apricots, apple, mango, and craisen and cut them with scissors)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Mix all dry ingredients
2. Heat butter, peanut butter, and honey until butter is melted and peanut butter is smooth.
3. Combine rest of ingredients and fold with a wooden spoon until golden brown (2-3 min)
4. Spread evenly on baking sheet and bake at 250 for 15 min, then stir and bake another 15 min. 

Number of Servings: 15

Nutritional Info

• Servings Per Recipe: 15
• Amount Per Serving
• Calories: 206.9

• Total Fat: 11.1 g
• Cholesterol: 8.1 mg
• Sodium: 26.7 mg
• Total Carbs: 32.2 g
• Dietary Fiber: 5.7 g
• Protein: 4.3 g

And today... she's struggling.

Well I hate days like this.

First off, I really should have been blogging lately, but I just haven't. I HATE how I go through spells of just really really REALLY not feeling in the mood to blog. For instance last month I had great progress pictures, but wasn't in the mood to blog about them. Then went to Virginia which was interesting... but I wasn't in the mood to blog about it. I finally dropped down to 178.4 this week! Hit the 170's!! But alas... not in the mood to blog about it. Heck I even rode my bike 16 miles- from my house to my in-laws house, and burned over 900 calories, WHILE on my period! But naturally... not in the mood for blogging. I hate that. And to be completely honest?? I'm sooo not even in the mood to be doing it now! But I guess you gotta start back up sometime.

As Steph mentioned, we are starting the couch to 5K program. I did day 1 on Wednesday, and was feeling really great. (And should be doing day 2 tonight...hmm. Anyone have some energy they could lend me????) The program starts off really simple, but just to know that I could complete day 1 without much of a struggle at all had me feeling really great about myself. In fact I am now feeling as though I'd like to run a 5K this fall.

But for some reason, the last 2 days (yesterday and today) I have really been struggling.
I've been ravenous. And therefore I have been eating. And eating. And eating. And I've been feeling lethargic for the past 2 days as well. Not sure why this is. I'm drinking a ton of water and I'm not even pms'ing, so I don't understand why I'm so hungry. And I know a big part of the problem is that when I feel this sort of hunger, I go for whatever I can find that's NOT healthy. Screw the apple, I say, as I grab a cookie. It's frustrating when I do that, yet I have continued to do it all day (and it's only noon!? wtf!) When I get this way I fight off the urge for what seems like as long as I can, until I ultimately give in to whatever I am craving. I wish I could find the strength to really fight off cravings when they come like this, rather than just suppress them until I can no longer stand it.

I guess I will say that I'm really proud of myself/excited to be officially into the 170's! It always super exciting to 'down a decade' on the scale. But the second I do, I starting thinking "OK now I'm just dying to get into the 160's!" I think sometimes I need to take a minute and be proud of what I have just accomplished rather than thinking that it's still not good enough.

Last night John and I were going to go for a bike ride (I literally had to force myself to get my biking gear on, I just wanted to stay home and lay on the couch. And this was AFTER an hour long nap!) and when we got to our bikes we made the terrible discovery that we both had flats!! I was soooo irritated because I had finally gotten awake enough, and in the mood for a good ride, knowing that exercise would make me feel more awake and elevate my mood... and it was ruined. Anyway, we decided to go for a walk instead and walked briskly for about 70 minutes. Burned 500 calories, and I was glad we did something rather than just be discouraged by our flat tires. On our walk we talked about how we want to always be active together, and with our children. That we want to be in shape and healthy to be good examples for our future family, as well as to be able to do fun adventurous and active things with them. These conversations always make me happy. I really look forward to raising a healthy family. Having John (who has officially lost 13 lbs, bytheway!) at my side while I am trying to create an active lifestyle has been a great blessing for me.

Ok I'm not sure where I'm going with all this, but I just felt like I needed to blog. That's all for now.

Mal & I's next big adventure

Well by the title it sounds like we are starting our own new cartoon series.  However, Mal and I have decided to start training for a 5K, she found a podcast on itunes by a guy named Robert Ullrey.  I am way excited but also very nervous because to be honest...i never have aspired to be a runner, i just know that i burn a ton of calories when I do it.  We are always willing to try new things so there will be more to come!!

Angel Food Cake Dessert

2 pkgs 1/3 reduced fat cream cheese

1 Cup Sugar

1 contianer cool whip

1 angel food cake loaf

1 quart fresh strawberries

1 container strawberry glaze (in produce section)

Directions:

1. cut up cake and pat down into 9x13 pan

2. mix cream cheese and sugar, then fold in cool whip...add on top of cake 

3. cut up strawberries, combine with glaze, and put on top 

4. refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving

Nutritional Info

• Servings Per Recipe: 12
• Amount Per Serving
• Calories: 274.3

• Total Fat: 10.5 g
• Cholesterol: 28.0 mg
• Sodium: 188.7 mg
• Total Carbs: 42.7 g
• Dietary Fiber: 1.5 g
• Protein: 4.1 g