Not Ready For No W.O.W.

Unfortunately I have realized that there is a long time between november 20 and january 9, I thought I was going to be just fine. I haven't gained any weight but its the same thing as saying "well i stayed in my 1200 calorie range....without a single fruit or vegetable." I never became dependent on W.O.W. and I know that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, which is why I am posting this at 5:50 am, but there were a few days that things just got to be too much for me to handle, and I was simply tracking my food because I didn't want to let andrea or kristan down. It sounds kind of pathetic but it is the kind of motivation that works for me, not for everyone of course, but I don't like letting people down or myself down. But right now, it is hard because I don't have anyone ready to chew my ass if I keep making the same mistakes, or the constant motivation.

Also, I feel very paranoid because as I have been getting new clothes that actually fit I freak out when my pants are tight, or a shirt is a little snug, and I have to make a very conscious effort to tell myself to shut up because these clothes are all my size now. Plus, during WOW andrea and I both were just wearing our clothes big because didnt and still aren't sure how small we are going to be. I bought my first pair of jeans in a size 16 (which is down from size 20 in august), and my first shirt that is a size large since well the beginning of time, I can't tell you when I have ever worn a large. So I feel like I went from wearing MC HAMMER pants (eww evidence of my age, if you don't know what I am talking about google "can't touch this" by M.C. Hammer) to skinny jeans.

Not sure why I felt strong enough about this to blog about, but now that the hype is over I have to keep looking ahead to my goals....and pull my head out of my !@#$%@ because I do know what carbs are so I need to knock off my excuses about them.