And today... she's struggling.

Well I hate days like this.

First off, I really should have been blogging lately, but I just haven't. I HATE how I go through spells of just really really REALLY not feeling in the mood to blog. For instance last month I had great progress pictures, but wasn't in the mood to blog about them. Then went to Virginia which was interesting... but I wasn't in the mood to blog about it. I finally dropped down to 178.4 this week! Hit the 170's!! But alas... not in the mood to blog about it. Heck I even rode my bike 16 miles- from my house to my in-laws house, and burned over 900 calories, WHILE on my period! But naturally... not in the mood for blogging. I hate that. And to be completely honest?? I'm sooo not even in the mood to be doing it now! But I guess you gotta start back up sometime.

As Steph mentioned, we are starting the couch to 5K program. I did day 1 on Wednesday, and was feeling really great. (And should be doing day 2 tonight...hmm. Anyone have some energy they could lend me????) The program starts off really simple, but just to know that I could complete day 1 without much of a struggle at all had me feeling really great about myself. In fact I am now feeling as though I'd like to run a 5K this fall.

But for some reason, the last 2 days (yesterday and today) I have really been struggling.
I've been ravenous. And therefore I have been eating. And eating. And eating. And I've been feeling lethargic for the past 2 days as well. Not sure why this is. I'm drinking a ton of water and I'm not even pms'ing, so I don't understand why I'm so hungry. And I know a big part of the problem is that when I feel this sort of hunger, I go for whatever I can find that's NOT healthy. Screw the apple, I say, as I grab a cookie. It's frustrating when I do that, yet I have continued to do it all day (and it's only noon!? wtf!) When I get this way I fight off the urge for what seems like as long as I can, until I ultimately give in to whatever I am craving. I wish I could find the strength to really fight off cravings when they come like this, rather than just suppress them until I can no longer stand it.

I guess I will say that I'm really proud of myself/excited to be officially into the 170's! It always super exciting to 'down a decade' on the scale. But the second I do, I starting thinking "OK now I'm just dying to get into the 160's!" I think sometimes I need to take a minute and be proud of what I have just accomplished rather than thinking that it's still not good enough.

Last night John and I were going to go for a bike ride (I literally had to force myself to get my biking gear on, I just wanted to stay home and lay on the couch. And this was AFTER an hour long nap!) and when we got to our bikes we made the terrible discovery that we both had flats!! I was soooo irritated because I had finally gotten awake enough, and in the mood for a good ride, knowing that exercise would make me feel more awake and elevate my mood... and it was ruined. Anyway, we decided to go for a walk instead and walked briskly for about 70 minutes. Burned 500 calories, and I was glad we did something rather than just be discouraged by our flat tires. On our walk we talked about how we want to always be active together, and with our children. That we want to be in shape and healthy to be good examples for our future family, as well as to be able to do fun adventurous and active things with them. These conversations always make me happy. I really look forward to raising a healthy family. Having John (who has officially lost 13 lbs, bytheway!) at my side while I am trying to create an active lifestyle has been a great blessing for me.

Ok I'm not sure where I'm going with all this, but I just felt like I needed to blog. That's all for now.