Someone please tell me... WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??????
I think the past 2 weeks have been the worst 2 weeks (as far as eating healthy and exercising go) that I have had in a really long time. Maybe the worst I've had since I began this journey, last September!? 2 weekends of camping, road trips and birthday parties have done me in.
And that makes me feel terrible. I stepped on the scale yesterday and if it was correct, I have gained about 4.5 lbs within the past 2 weeks. That just makes me feel ill. And not just because of the gain, but also because I have not exercised one bit and I know it's going to be really tough to pick back up on my couch 2 5k program, where I left off. I had just finished week 3 and was ready to move on to week 4, but I think I am going to take this week to redo week 3. I don't want to jump into week 4 (which consists of 5 minutes of running without stopping) knowing I probably can't handle it, because I will just get frustrated and either injure myself, or feel like a failure. So it is official, I am starting week 3 again this week, and I am going to push through and just do it. No excuses at all. I know I can do it and I love how proud I feel when I accomplish just one day of that program.
I really have no good excuse for my lack of good behavior in the past 2 weeks. I was pms'ing and rather than battle my cravings 'till the death, I gave in without so much as a fight. It was very disappointing, and I am now reaping the consequences of that. And it really sucks. But I guess that's part of this whole weight loss thing anyway.
I am less than a month away from hitting my "1 year mark" of this so called journey to healthiness. At this current time, I have lost 26 lbs in that 11 months. I was really hoping to hit 45 or 50 lbs, but now my goal is much lower and I am just hoping to get back to my 30 lb. mark, where I was before these last 2 weeks of destruction. So that is my goal for right now. By September 11, 2009 I hope to have lost 30 lbs, and I hope to weigh 177.8 (or less!) pounds. I can do that.
My sister in law texted me the other day and mentioned that there is supposed to be a 2 mile fun run nearby on August 29th. I mentioned before that she is much smaller than me, and in much better shape. And I'm very happy to say that that doesn't intimidate me. Anyone with eyes can see that she is much thinner and therefore can most likely fun faster/farther/longer than I can, and I'm ok with that. I think it will be good for me to do the fun run with her, and let her know that I will not be able to run the whole thing, but she can go at her own pace and I will meet her at the finish line. She mentioned to me that when we do our 5k this fall (I'm thinking either October 10 or the 24th?) that her goal will be to run the whole thing without having to walk, even if she is running at a super slow pace. I thought that sounded like a pretty good goal, so I am going to work towards that as well. Since I am in the 3rd week of couch to 5k, and it is 9 weeks long, I should be able to run 3.1 miles by that time without too much trouble. Just typing that I'm like (Come on Mallory, are you trying to kid yourself or WHAT?) but deep down I know that if I really try for it, and stick with this program that I WILL be able to do this. I've mentioned before that I am the girl who starts things, not a girl who finishes things, but I am going to finish this if it kills me. This is where I am going to really step up, and prove to myself that I am capable even though my whole life I have thought I wasn't.
What a blog of rambling! But that's all I have to say for now. I'm happy to be back to the real world, back to working towards my goals, and back into my groove. Lunch today is turkey on wheat, and watermelon with a grilled chicken salad for dinner. Ah, it really does feel good to be back.
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