Struggling...need to take care of me

well i just got done texting mallory and I agree with her that I need to blog about my struggles as of late. Real life has been catching up with me the last couple months and I have slipped into one of my worst habits of taking care of everyone else but myself. This isn't a new habit, actually I would consider it more of a cycle that I get into....when I'm doing really well I start to forget how hard it was for me to get there, which in turn leads me to take for granted that I can stay there without as much work, about then some major crisis happens and I forget about myself completely.

So here I am, up 11 pounds from my all time lowest weight. I will admit that I haven't worked out in almost three weeks. There I said it, its out in the open now, and the only person I have to blame is myself. Unfortunately, I know so much more now than I did a year ago about weight loss and health because I know EXACTLY how I got myself to the place I am right now. Not exactly profound what I am saying, but yes if you eat like shit and don't exercise...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what will happen. Normally I am a huge advocate for the saying "knowledge is power" but that now I have realized that "knowledge is only power if you USE it".

Today I am officially pulling my head out of my ass, and am going back to the gym on Monday. Here are the classes I am taking:

Monday: Kickboxing 4:30-5:15 pm

Tuesday: Kickboxing 8:15-9:00 am, Strength Training 5:30-6:15 pm

Wednesday: Kickboxing 5:30-6:15 pm

Thursday: Kickboxing 8:15-9:00 am, Strength Training 5:30-6:15 pm

Friday: Kickboxing 8:15-9:00 am

Here is my testament to myself and motivated or not I have to get back on track. I am so down right now I hardly remember how much I love exercise and feeling strong. This isn't a question about motivation its a question of proving to myself that by losing 50 pounds in the last year that I have made a change in my life and not been on another "diet"